One day I rummaged in the cellar, and found a lot of my old sketch books. The oldest more that 10 years old. A strange feeling.
Old, old ideas. Art I thought I should make but didn't. Plans I maybe someday would realise, but haven't. Well, some I have and some art I have made. But these old ideas - slightly sad, slightly touching, and actually I feel more than slightly impatient with them. It's rather clogging to have all these old ideas laying around. Maybe I simply should throw all these books away? And open up for new ideas for art instead?
Looking through old sketch-books, I found this drawing of an angel. Striding through nature, crossing deserts, under stars - intent on his purpose. The drawing was made when I was at art school. The first trace of the idea that later turned into the Sacred Pilgrims series of pictures.
This was an idea to illustrate the safety in the church, that one could safely sleep like a child enfolded by the faith's warm embrace. Looking at the drawing today, I think that all this is well and good - but it would be better to go outside and face the world with one's faith.
A vision of large, semi-transparent balloons floating over the landscape. In each balloon a recumbent figure, a man or woman in deep, deep sleep.
A strange geometric drawing of God speeding over the earth.
"The machine that makes you happy and well". You just insert the human into the machine, and the machine fills the human with joy. I remembered it should have a telling contrast between the hard, large machine and the soft, vulnerable human. Well...
The virgin Mary and the disciple John, resting under the cross after the horrible day. Without heart to leave Jesus hanging there alone in the night, they have lighted a small lamp.
I ended up with throwing the old sketchbooks away. Time for new art, new ideas, instead of thinking about old unfulfilled plans. And actually, - it was me that got the old ideas, so I can surely get them once more if I'd like. Or something quite new.
It feels.... fresh.